Jill M Roberts’ Losing Innocence


~ Losing Innocence ~

Why do we risk it all for love?
No matter how exquisite,
Passionate, wonderful it is,
We lose;
Whether we part for differences or in death,
We lose;
No matter how much we try to hold on,
Change ourselves or our other,
Govern and protect the relationship,
We lose;

Thus, why do we do it?
We do it for the moments that will reside with us,
For the craze and lust.
The fury,
The fervor,
The obsession, infatuation, excitement.
For the zeal, enthusiasm, passion.
We do it for us;
To penetrate over into,
Our partner.

Me and You,
We wanted it all.
None of the pain,
Just the good stuff.
Well, we had it.
The good, the lovely.
What a surprise!
But then,
As Always,
We lost.

We lost ourselves,
Our way.
The rhythm and balance
We perfected.
How did we not see it coming?
Stumbling on to a new realm.
One in which we operate alone.
The composition wrecked.
We smashed into that brick wall.
Afraid to leave,
I knew you wanted out.
Maybe a break?
You opposed it.
We could not come back from it.
I could feel the coming loss.
But not in the way I expected.

A trip!
To get us back.
The excitement could mend us.
It did for 72 hours.
Then the ultimate force of depature
Came upon.
In a small elegant English hotel,
You died in my arms
On a Saturday morning in London.
Thirty five hundred miles away from home.

The initial shock blasted my mind and body.
The detonation of torment pierced my soul.
Unadulterated suffering terrorised.
I lost my equilibrium and steadiness.
Embarking in an unknown world,
Where the dwellers seethe with agony.
A spot was saved for me there,
Where fumes suffocate.
A Hell on Earth
Where Innocence is Lost.


4 thoughts on “Jill M Roberts’ Losing Innocence

  1. “A spot was saved for me there” ~ Wow. I really felt that line. It seems odd to simply compliment you on a post like this rather than to try to console perhaps…, but, really, this is SO good. Painfully honest: “we lose”. Yes. One way or another, we do. But, yes, STILL: “we risk it all for love”. ~ I don’t know that I would take many people along with me on this idea, but it does occur to me lately that the whole point of life IS “the craze and lust. The fury,The fervor, The obsession, infatuation, excitement….the zeal, enthusiasm, passion.” And, that would actually be my “prayer”; my wish for you, and all of us. More of that. ~ Again, so good. Thank you. ~ Bill


    • Thanks so much for the kind words, Bill. It really means a lot! When this tragedy happened, the only way I knew how to deal with it was through writing about the whole thing. I actually have a collection of poems coming out soon on this part of my life. If you’re interested, some of the poems are at JillNYC.com
      Thanks again for your comments 🙂
      All My Best,


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